I haven’t touched a drink for days, and it really does get easier. The only struggle I have is the ever-present anxiety that feels like you heart is trying its best to liberate itself from your chest, but you realize that you can’t die from anxiety, and then you calm the fuck down.
The bender I went on during the ice storm is the worst one I have been on for some time. The after effects include a stomach virus, a constant screaming in my head, and crippling anxiety
I got through it, though, and I never succumbed to my desires to just drink myself into a stupor until the world just went away. That is what happens when you realize that your “problematic drinking,’ was actually alcoholism.
I cannot have just one drink. Instead, a switch in my head is flipped, and I will drink everything in sight until I pass out. Because of my high tolerance, that amount is enough to land you in to a hospital. Lucky for me, that has happened only once.